I am him and he is me
by friendsforever0165
Summary: Allen is sent off to replace his dead brother in a marriage.Kanda expected the brother just to be like his lover.Thrown into the a arrange loveless marriage, maybe hatred could fill in for love, or not.
1. Meeting him

Okay welcome. Thank you Kuroya-hima, Animecrazed121 and frizzie123 for beta reading this. This will be updated monthly(I hope. At least once every month. ) I've been busy this school year, only having two hours a week just to write. With next year, I probably have thirty minutes only.

Note: Nothing belongs to me expect the plot line. Also, if any other mistakes are mine. I do realize grammer isn't my best friend so please tell me where and don't say: YOU HAVE GRAMMER MISTAKES. gee I already know that.

title might change

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**Meeting him

Chapter 1

"My King." The lady says as she bows down in front of the king; he doesn't need the small chat that the woman will make. As well, he doesn't care if his ostentatious castle made the woman happy; he wants to know about the the deal that is now in a mess. The first born of this woman wasn't supposed to die three days ago, this was set for years, and he just suddenly died. That is unacceptable. The dark hair man stands up with force and walks over to the boy next to her.

This boy doesn't even want to be here. The trio could see and feel it. His body trembles in fear? No, it is anger. He is mad that he has to take the duties left behind from his brother to him. It was never his job; he was second born, not first born. He told his mother that he would marry Prince Lavi, the prince of another kingdom. The plan was for his brother to marry this man, and him to marry Prince Lavi. It was all set. "This is my second child. Shall I ask that you approve of him my lord?" The boy almost rose from his spot and walk out from this lord. "His name is Allen Walker. Child of Mana Walker and MaryLu Walker; is our deal still on going?" The man pulls the silver hair boy face up to look at him.

"He's only a child." His low bass voice made Allen flinch. "You are right; he's not as beautiful but suitable enough. Why does he have this scar?" Allen nearly flinch again when the man trace the scar on his eye. A scar that left many haunted memories of his brother, but the King only saw the storm gray eyes the child held. Fill with betrayal, hatred and fear.

"I'm very sorry sir. Those happen on...behalf...of..." His mother drags the words out, trying to find a story out of this. The king drops the boys face and turns to face the woman in irritation; he doesn't have time for games.

"I got it at the death of my brother my King." Allen nearly spat the words out, trying to compose the night into his mind. Locking them up with locks and keys, yet to no veil, they always slip out. The king faces him again, and nods. The boy reminded nothing of his former lover. Nothing at all, yet he had the same strength and purity.

"The deal is still on. The wedding date will be the same. I am sure that your son knows what he must do as my mate." Allen flinches. He knows he was just a fuck-toy. Marriage was just a cover up.

"I understand." MaryLu stood up and walks over to his son. "Allen, son. Now behave. I will not be there from now on. The King will take care of you and if you want to visit me, please do. The house will so quiet now." Hugging her son one last time, she turns and runs.

Allen didn't care. His mother sold him off, he hated her from the beginning. She was after his father's money. Once he died, everything just went downhill from there. She focus on the day they will get married and her getting the money. Turning to face the king, the king had sat back down in his thrown.

"May I ask you name King?" The king only chuckles. The boy didn't even know his name, and yet he is marrying him. Very interesting he thought. He knows the boy was going to marry the other Prince, so why him?

"I am King Kanda."

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Allen sat down on his 'new' bed. It isn't in Kanda's bed, not that Allen would complain. Why should he? He doesn't want to be anywhere near the lord. Kanda wants Allen away from him too. This is only an agreement made years ago. Something that is to troublesome to be stop. His brother was label as the king's fiancé as long as anyone could remember, even before Allen was born.

The silver hair boy pushes himself off the soft bed. The wedding is only two days away and he is expected to wear his brother's outfit. How is the question? His brother is taller and more built than him- not that Allen likes to admit that.

Reasons of him still being in this room are beyond him. His brother always tells him how lovely this King is always. His brother is always trying to make Allen meet Kanda but it never worked. Usually Allen would go to Lavi. Allen turns to look toward the sea. Lavi lived in a different kingdom. Once the boy turned three, he would visit Lavi for one half of the year and come back for the other half.

Even with years of knowing each other, feelings of love never formed, only friendship, maybe brotherhood even. Lavi told him that marriage would have ruin their friendship. Many times he tried to cancel this agreement, but Allen's mother wouldn't allow it. Unlike Kanda, Lavi is much to kind to go against a woman. Clenching his hands, his only wish right now is to retain that friendship still.

-Kanda growls as the red headed boy sits down across from him. Why would another prince of another country make him comfortable in **his **house?

"Please leave." He growls the words out none to kindly. From earlier today with the boy and mother, he doesn't want to deal with this...thing.

"Aw, Yu. You took my fiancé, not that I mind, I just want to say hi to him." The red head stood up, and look out from the window. "Yu, I think you take better care than I ever will. After all a brother marrying another brother?" He sighs and leans on one arm.

"Don't call me that Baka Usagi." Kanda growls. If you want to see that boy, you have permission. Now leave me alone."

"Yu. You have to come with me. _You are _his fiancé, not me."

"It isn't my duty to check up on the boy." Kanda doesn't look up from his paper work. "Go to him if you must. Just leave me alone." Kanda doesn't want to seek the boy from the room. For the rest of his life, or until the boy dies, he will have to deal with him. That is something Kanda did not look foreword too. Than, why is brother? The boy's brother is a different story.

"Why couldn't you get the boy back as your fiancé?" Kanda asks.

"I can't. His mother wants this. Allen wants it to, but I don't think we could be together like that. After all, I'm going to marry a girl even with him tied down to me. He will have no right to go after another love expects me." Lavi explains sadly. "I do not want that." Lavi pulls his hair back. "Yu, please don't make his life a living hell. He already went through so much." Lavi continues on, not that Kanda is paying attention.

"Baka Usagi, just go to him. I'm sure he will like your company than mine. I dislike the brat as he despise me from taking him away from you." Kanda doesn't look up from his paper and his writing continues as well. He did not want to see the boy yet either. When the red head doesn't leave, Kanda just looks up.

"Yu, just try to make a connection. I'm not going to be here after you get married to Allen." Kanda growls. Of course Lavi is right about this. Once he leaves, Kanda wouldn't' know a thing if he keeps Allen happy with Lavi now. Giving a sigh, he stands up. If he doesn't do this, the bunny will just keep on bothering him till he visit the boy.

"The Moyashi will just be a 'wife' to me, nothing more." Walking out of his room, Lavi follow his friend to the other side of the castle. Allen is isolated from everyone, much to Lavi's unhappiness about it. It really seems that Kanda didn't care if the boy died in a ditch or killed by a rapist or jealous woman.

"Yu, would Allen be in the same area as you once you get married to him?" Lavi asks as they got near Allen's door. It seem so far and cold from the rest of the palace.

"If I wish it. Why should I care on where he is? If he needs anything he can just call a servant."

"So he's going to be an isolated Prince?" Lavi asks.

"A prince, no. But if you wish to view it that way, yes he is." Kanda says. Lavi frown. Of course Kanda doesn't see anything wrong with it. Why should he give warmth and happiness to someone he barely knew? That may sound cold hearted, but it's reality. He won't pamper the boy if he does not love the boy.

"Prince Kanda, then why marry him?"

"Then you marry him." Kanda shot back. Lavi snap his mouth shut at the question. He could not marry his best friend. Why couldn't Kanda see that his only family relative just sold him off for a higher status?

"Yu. I can't." Lavi mutters. Turning his attention away, he looks at the door.

Allen heard the prince and king talking. The words muff but he knew they were talking about him. Hurrying off out of the bed room, he locked himself in the bathroom. He didn't want to see anyone. More or less the King he is suppose to marry. Only Lavi is allow to see him at this point. "Allen!" Lavi shouts as Allen hears the door open. Lavi knew the boy would be hiding. "Come out. Yu won't bit." Allen wanted to shout back saying he wanted to go back with Lavi, not the stuck up King. "If you don't come out, I'm leaving." Lavi sat down on the bed disgracefully and waited.

Of course Allen is debating if he should go out to Lavi or stay in the lock room away from the king. He will always see the king but what about Lavi? He's a two day journey with stops. But, will the king allow that journey? Kanda on the other hand just wanted to get Allen out from his hiding spot. He did not want to spend time with the brat more than needed. On his mind, Alma is someone he would rather spend time with.

"Come out Moyashi. I don't have time for this." Kanda growls. 'Moyashi?' Allen thought.

"I'm not a bean sprout!" Allen snaps, barging out of the locked room. Kanda smirk. His goal is done. He got Allen out to see Lavi. "Lavi!" He hugged the older boy when he saw him. "Bring me back home." Lavi just chuckle.

"Don't be a baby. You are at the age of fifteen now." Lavi explains. The days of Allen as a child are gone. Once Mana died at the age of seven, the young boy slowly turn into a young adult, than a responsible adult. Even at the age of fifteen, he could probably hold a family out with ease. A fifteen year old shouldn't know how to do that just yet.

"Take me home right now!" Allen demand with force. He didn't care if he was acting childish.

"That will be a great idea. Just bring the brat to be your fiancé." Kanda says agreeing with the boy.

"I can't Yu. Allen is your fiancé now. I'm sorry Allen. I can't think of you as a fiancé." He is telling the truth. He only saw the boy as a little brother. A little brother he will protect and want him to find happiness. He knew Allen will grow tired of being tied down to Lavi for so long. But their marriage cannot be broken. Allen saw it different though. With Lavi he could be happy, instead of being hid away from the world by a cold hearted king.

"Allen, I'm sure you will be happy with Kanda as your mate." Allen blushs at the word mate. Why should he be mated with another man? "Don't worry, if you still are not happy with in a year, I will bring you back to my palace. Is that fair Yu?" Lavi compromises with the two.

"I still have to spend a whole fucking year with the moyashi." Kanda grumbles.

"I will take that as a yes." Lavi smiles. Hugging Allen, the silver hair boy sighs. Both the king and boy were unhappy. A compromise that has an unknown fate and a major risk factor. While Allen wanted to go with Lavi, fate has other plans.

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How is it? I try to be different here. Do realize it was reading Romeo and Juliet before typing this up. And some slash as well. LOVE XOXOhio stories. XD.

**Please review. **Tell me what I did right. Tell me what I did wrong. Tell me what you hate and what you love. Should I continue or should I just die for ruining this anime/manga for you?


	2. Marriage

**Author's note:** Please do take note that not all Asian cultures mix well. Due to some of the problems in the past they have conflicts. I actually had this written for a month already. I haven't looked at it for that long either so I totally forgot what happens. I know I said I won't be updating since I'm taking a 'break'. Well after this chapter.

Also: _**go back to read the first chapter. **_I edit it.

I have a** fictionpress account. Nameless Shana. **go there for more of my writing. I haven't heard from all my beta readers either. i don't know what happen but I guess I'll never know.

Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter as well. I thought it was a crappy first chapter.

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Chapter two

"Do I have to get married?" Allen questions Lavi again. Lavi sighs with defeat. He couldn't say no now could he? He doesn't have that power in this kingdom. In the world where his little brother is marrying before him seems distant, yet here he is. Giving Allen a small hug, Allen looks away with a pout.

"Aw, come on Allen. I can't marry you." Moving his silver hair around, Allen looks back at Lavi. "Yuu isn't a bad guy. He's just really really really anti-social." Lavi stresses the word really.

"And cold-hearted." Allen mutters. He doesn't blame anyone for the curse that is now on him. After all, his brother's death just happened. Death cannot be avoided your whole life.

"Is my bride ready?" Kanda asks. He has to stand outside of the room since the bride and groom could not see each other yet due to their customs. Allen looks at Lavi; both of them knew that the King is annoyed. Both of them wanted this marriage just to be over already. Maybe they could just skip the ceremony and to the dreaded "I do." Of course live isn't like that.

"Yuu-"

"Don't call me that baka usagi." Reaching for his sword, he mentally curse. Why couldn't he carry his sword on his marriage? "Are you ready?" He questions them again.

"I'm ready." Allen mutters. Lavi place the veil on him before he opens the door. When Kanda first saw Allen again, he thought he was his brother. Ready like they plan how many years ago. Allen saw it too; the thought of him being his brother. Looking away, he drags Lavi out of his room. He hated how everyone sometimes thought he was his brother, especially his mother. Kanda could only watch the two walk away. Their marriage won't be stop now. Everything is just going down the drain anyways. Allen is just the replacement, nothing more nothing less.

"Allen, don't worry about Kanda. I know you just meet him yesterday-"

"That was less than 24 hours ago. How can I marry someone I barely know? My brother told me I he loved Kanda before he died. I can't take someone he loves away." Allen holler at Lavi. Allen bites his lip and tears stream down his face, ruining part of his makeup.

"Come on. You're going to make yourself look like a scary zombie with makeup."

"I don't care." Allen says, pushing Lavi's helping hand away. "After all I'm just a bride that will be locked in this castle."

"Yuu-chan will never do that. Remember the stories your brother told you about Kanda. Did he ever tell you about locking you away?"

"I'm not my brother. Judging by the look on the King's face, it appears that I will be crossing that problem a lot more. I really miss Mana now." Lavi kisses Allen on the forehead.

"I'm sure that he isn't happy about this plan but just think about the future. You're going to be living a better life than with your mother. I probably will marry another girl and you will be left alone." Allen gives Lavi the look of 'it's-going-to-happen-here-too.' "Kanda isn't going to marry anyone though. He's so anti-social that Lenalee and I had to force ourselves on him." Allen gives him another look when he hears the name Lenalee.

"She's the Princess of the land in the West from here. She's really friendly. I'm sure you have met her a few times. I think it was when we were three when all of us were together last. I think she's going to be here."

"Is that so?" Lavi smiles and starts to drag Allen to the ceremony hall way.

"I think so. Allen, remember to smile. If it hurts, just smile. That's always the best revenge if they don't think it hurts." Lavi says. Opening the grand doors, Allen looks away with a sigh. This is probably one of the last few times he will see Lavi as well. Giving his friend a smile, Lavi smiles back. Their arms link and they start to walk down the long aisle

Kanda barely pays attention to the two people walking down the aisle. Only when Allen grabs his hand does he look up. His smile caught him at surprise, but Allen didn't notice it.

"Are you ready King Kanda?" Allen asks.

"Che, of course. I'm just waiting for you Moyashi."

"My name is Allen." Allen says thickly through hatred. They continue to stare at each other as the service begun. Not the words aren't' important but usually it's shared between two people who love each other. You know the four letter word that could change someone's world. Apparently this love did change two people's word rather quickly. Usually it's for the better but now it has its opposite effect.

"King Kanda, will you take Allen Walker's hand." The king scowls but takes the boys hand anyways. Allen looked away as he felt the stares on his scar arms. "Do you promise you will remain by Allen's side even-"

"I have too." Kanda grumble. Not that he has much choice in the matter. All of it was in the agreement made years ago. Allen stares back at the King.

"Now Allen Walker-"

"I do." Allen grumbles as well. He didn't care right now. All he wanted to do is leave from the room of people. He just lost his freedom to a man he didn't love. Not only that, it was an agreement made by his own mother. A mother should search for his son's happiness but why is he so unhappy.

"You may kiss the-um…bride?" Kanda grabs Allen and gave him a kiss. It wasn't something both of them enjoy. It was just for a show. Once he pulled away, Allen lets go of Kanda's hand. Moving his eyes, he meet Lavi's and smile. He should try to be happy just like what Lavi told him. But his mother wasn't even her to see his marriage.

As the bells rung, Allen turns to leave. He didn't care if Kanda is watching leave. Kanda didn't care if the boy isn't staying. He didn't need Allen to show him what to do.

"King Kanda, why did your bride leave so soon? You don't want to share him?" Kanda looks over his shoulder to see one of his guests.

"He needs his rest. After all it's been a very long two days. Those long days won't stop from now on." Kanda mutters. He wanted this to end already too. His stupid father planned the wedding. He just accepted how it went.

"I see. May I see him myself then?"

"I'm afraid now. He's mind now and frankly I don't need anything to break him yet." Kanda says.

"I see. So I'm not allow to break him. After you are through with him, am I allowed to have him?"

"I'm afraid you can't either. Due to an agreement made, he is supposed to stay here." Kanda sigh. Why did the man want him already? If it wasn't for the agreement, he would have killed the boy. Think of the news. The king had killed his own wife. Lovely isn't it?

"Is that so? I shall take my leave now. Please excuse me." Kanda just nod. He could tell the man wasn't happy. He really wanted Allen but no price could match him. Kanda had the money so he couldn't buy it off him. So what else can he do?

"Yu-chan. I think you should try to talk to Allen. He's really sad since he's now a married man. Maybe show some love from now on."

"Love is just a lowly word. There is no need for love. He only needs to provide what I need and he could do whatever he wants."

"Aw, don't be like that. I'm sure you can love the boy."

"The Moyashi is nothing to me."

"What will Lenalee say?"

"She has nothing to say to me baka usagi."

"You don't want her to yell at you right? Is that why she isn't here today? If you don't to break the agreement, I'm sure you can drop him at my palace anytime you need. Allen is still a boy of 15. Please remember that King Kanda. Now I must take my leave too." Lavi bowed and walked out of the ball room. Kanda sighs. This is defiantly more trouble than it's worth.

With the clock turning 12, the guests begin to leave for their long journey home. Much to both Allen and Kanda's happiness; tired the married couple just wanted to go to bed.

"Have a good journey back home Lavi." Allen says, waving his friend good bye. Lavi smiles and give him a V.

"Stay strong. I'm going to visit as much as I can, even if Yu-chan hates it. I'll bring Lenalee too." Allen just smiles.

"I'll be looking forward to it then. Please do visit often. I mean it Lavi." The scarlet hair boy just laughs. Getting into the carriage, Allen watches the older boy leave toward his home. Now this large house is his home. Yet it is cold. Colder than the one he leaved with his mother.

A sad sigh escapes his lips as he begun to walk back to his room. The dark sky and clouded moon did not help him on the feeling of the lonely castle. With Lavi, his first few days were bearable, know that his friend isn't here, how will he live?

"Allen, the King wants to see you." A servant calls him.

"I'm on my way." The hallow halls to the King's room just seem lonelier. Another sigh escapes his lips. What did he do in his last life for this? "King, I'm here."

"Come in." His deep voice bellows in.

"Do you need anything? If you don't may I go back to my chamber?" Allen asks Kanda. Kanda grunts as he strips from his clothing. Allen looked away with a blush.

"Never seen anyone strip Moyashi?" Kanda smirk.

"Please tell me what you want?"

"To take away your innocence of course, what else?" Allen's cheeks flush from pink to red.

"What are you talking about? Why would you need that?" Backing up against the door, Kanda slam his hand next to Allen's head, making him flinch.

"To think you are that naïve." Lowering his head so his lips were near Allen's lips. "It makes me want to laugh you know."

"Let me go." Allen mutters. Kanda pull them into a kiss. A rough impassionate kiss that was raw and painful. Allen could only grab onto Kanda as he drag them onto the bed. Tears started to flow out. Kanda slowly pull away with a smile. "Please, let me go." Allen chocked.

"If I do that, what's the point of asking you to be here?" Ripping his outfit, Allen could only stare in horror. "Now, just be a good little boy."

"No." Allen pushed against Kanda. But it he couldn't match against the strength of the King. He couldn't stop him even if he wanted too. His silver eyes meet the mid-night blue ones. "Please." His flinch when his arms were pressed against the bed.

"Stop resisting. It's going to hurt more if you do."

"Please leave me alone. You already took enough away from me. If my brother lived, would you have done this to him too? Huh? What makes me so different than my brother?" Allen could see the anger growing in Kanda's eyes.

"You are different than the boy in many ways Moyashi. You see, I actually can sit and be civil with him. But you, huh, I just want to break you apart. Your brother and you are different. He wouldn't have resisted if I did this. In fact he enjoyed it." Allen eyes widen. How could his brother fall in love with this….this beast? Kanda could only laugh at the look of the boy's face.

"My brother isn't like that. I can't believe my brother actually loved you. Even I can't fall in love with the man my mother chosen for me." Allen mutters. Kanda narrows his eyes and sighs. Pulling away, he pulls the covers off the bed.

"Do whatever you want? You're more trouble than you are worth. We have all the time in the world Moyashi." Kanda says. "Now leave." Allen didn't take another second to follow the command. He ran out of the room and into his chamber. If today was like this, how will the rest of his life be? He couldn't bare with it, yet Lavi says to give Kanda a try. How could he give Kanda a chance if he acts like this? How?

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How is it? Tell me through reviews. the chapter was suppose to be a lot longer but I kind of don't want to type anymore. Also I don't know when I will update next as well. I'm planning to change things around and I want things between them unique. So please reviews. A few ideas might help.


	3. Holding on

Don't ask me what's going on in this story. To be honest, I have no idea too.

Disclaimers: It doesn't belong to me. I don't even want the recent two chapters to be mind. Kanda can't act like that. He's not Kanda that way.

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Chapter three

"Big brother, do you love the person you are marrying?" Allen asks his older brother. Their hands intertwine as they walk down the cold December morning. "I love Lavi a lot. I know he'll take care of me." His brother just laughs at his younger brother. Bringing his other hand, he ruffles his little brother's white hair.

"I love him a lot too Allen, sometimes too much. Should I be jealous that someone is stealing my little brother away from me?" His brother asks.

"Don't worry, Lavi doesn't steal. I make sure Lavi doesn't steal me away." Allen says with a smile. His brother laughs one more time before they continue down the street.

00

Strolling down the non-familiar streets, he missed the large city which he grew up in. With all the lower class children he could play with. Even with his step-father by his side, he allowed his son to visit his former home in the city before he had moved in to the castle. He felt that all of the people's eyes are on him. He covered himself with a cloak; covering everything including his snowy white hair and scarred arm. He didn't want to cause a scene in the new city. Where no one really knew him and when he didn't know anyone. A whiff of homesick of his original town and Lavi's town made him frown.

He hurried alone the crowded market place. It seemed like his market place back at home. The smell of bread that could be soft in the middle and crunchy on the outside. Or the tasty fruits that have just the right amount of sugar and water as you chew them. Or the beautiful clothing that would make any girl buy the cloth as soon as they saw it if they had the money. Allen just wished he could be as carefree as he could. But now married to a King, he shouldn't be seen in public so freely. Death would be on list if anyone found him defenseless like this; to the killer that is. It wasn't like Allen couldn't kill. He chose not to.

"Mister Allen!" Allen hears his name. Turning to face his supposed guards, he dash off into a more crowded area. He didn't want to be in that castle this soon. "Mister Allen, if you don't come back, your punishment will be worse than now. You can't keep running forever." Allen will...if he could. As he twisted the other way, a guard grabbed his arm. "Please don't resist. I'm sure the King won't be pleased with you hurt." As the word King drifted over the crowd, the commoners turn to face them to see what was going on.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to find me dead, maybe in hopes that my brother will take over my body and make it a purebred." Allen spat to the guard.

"If he did, I bet he'll enjoy it more if it was by his own hands. Now let's go." Allen reluctantly let them carry him back to the castle. As they enter the dark hallway, he didn't even look up to see the servants that only snicker at the way he was, being carried back like a puppy that couldn't escape from his master. Dropping him unto the bed like a rag ball, Allen didn't even look back at the guards as they left the room. It was cold was all Allen thought as he curl into a bed, messing the soft blanket under him up.

He didn't know how long he was staying in that fetal position. Allen didn't move till he started cramp up on his leg due to the lack of movement. He was just tired of being sold off like he was nothing by his mother. Ever since his step-father died, it was nothing more than a mere object of a money back. He was tired of that. Maybe it was better to be-

"Why did you run away?" Allen jolt up, taking his words back of thinking this was a better place. Looking up to see the king, he got off the bed and took a few step back. Without Lavi, he wasn't protected. Lavi knew the King, Allen didn't.

"I didn't run away. I just went to the marketplace without telling you. Staying the castle gets really stuffy if I don't know what's happening outside." Allen explained. He takes two more steps back when he see's Kanda's eyes narrow on him.

"I don't care; I didn't allow you to go to the market. Now that we're married, you aren't to act on your free will." Kanda explained. Allen scoff; like he will allow someone control him like this. "Rule number one: no one is allowed to see if they're outside of this castle. Only in this castle. I don't want you running around. Rule number two: always follow my rules. Rule number three: your old life is no more." Allen rolled his eyes.

"I want to visit Lavi."

"I won't allow it."

"I'm not a prize that would be kept in the closet. In fact I'm nothing more than a useless trophy to you." Allen continues to move back from Kanda. "I'm pretty sure I'll be less of a trouble if I'm not in here. I'm gone and no one is worrying over me."

"No."

"Why? What do you have to lose?" Allen asked.

"I don't need you walking around. This isn't like your home country. You are under my rule. I don't need to explain again why you must follow my rule." Kanda explained. The king was obviously annoyed with Allen. Kanda didn't want the boy to run around. He didn't want to think he was being nice to a wife of us. He didn't want them to think he will give a special treatment to someone he 'cared' about. Taking a few steps forward to Allen, the teen took a few steps back too. "I think you need a good lesson about who's in control."

Kanda grabbed Allen's hand, but the boy struggle against his grip. He didn't need to be taught anything. Allen didn't stop struggling against as Kanda just held him calmly.

"Let me go." Allen demanded.

"You have no rights to make a demand." Pinning the boy down, he stripped him from his shirt and tied his arms up with the very same shirt.

"Let. Me. Go." Allen demanded again. Kanda just chuckled. Allen didn't find this funny at all. "What's so funny? I don't find this situation funny, at all." Kanda just frown. He didn't like how Allen looked. His determination wasn't broken, and courage that didn't allow him to back down. Reaching down, he cupped his crotch. With a small gasp, Kanda smirked. "Let. Me. Go." Allen gasp as Kanda started to massage his crotch. Leaning down, Allen started to struggle more with Kanda.

"Does it feel good?" Kanda asked. His voice was husky making Allen blush. No one ever touched him like this before. He never felt like this before. "Did anyone touch you like this before?" Allen shakes his head quickly. He couldn't push Kanda away with his hands tied up. Kanda moved his hands from the outside to the inside. Allen made a load moan. A blush form on his cheeks as he came onto Kanda's hand.

"Why are you making me do this?" Allen pants.

"I think it's finally to make you mine. A few days after our _marriage_ should be fine." Kanda said the world marriage like it was a curse. It took a few seconds before Allen figure out what he meant. The blush deepens into a scarlet color. Allen pulled away from Kanda as his legged kicked the king. Kanda only let a small laugh out as he caught Allen's left ankle. Twisting it, Allen let a cry of surprise out as he was spun around. "Don't struggle. It hurt you more if you struggle. "

"I don't want it. I don't want to be marked as yours." Allen spat at the Asian. Kanda ripped Allen's pants off. For the time first time, Kanda saw fear in the mixture of determination and Kanda loved it. Sticking his digits into Allen's mouth, he began to suck at the nape of Allen's neck. "I don't want it." Using his other hand, he grabbed his dick and stroked it. His moans are muffed my fingers as his face flushed as Kanda began to grind against him too.

"You won't be saying that when I enter you, Moyashi." Pulling the digits out, he pulled Allen down his dick. Unzipping his pants, his own organ sprung to life. "Now suck." Pushing the organ into the boy's mouth, he pushed his digits into Allen's ass. The pain made Allen gag but he couldn't pull away. He won't break, even if it hurts and humiliates him. He won't break. He didn't want to do this but he didn't have a choice right now. Suddenly an idea came into his head. With a smirk, he started to bobble his head. His tongue moving with his head as it licked the split between the head.

Kanda yanked Allen's head by the hair hard. He grunts as his drooled.

"Do not do that." Without warning, Kanda enter both the second and third digit making Allen flinch. He didn't take his time as he pulled his fingers out and picked up Allen and dropped him onto him. Allen would let Kanda be satisfied with hearing him scream. He can't let a scream out. He didn't like holding onto someone so tightly but he can't deal with the pain. Allen knew his fingers were scratching Kanda's back. He felt the skin going under his nails as he gasp at a single movement.

With a grunt, Kanda filled Allen with his seeds. Gasping, Allen pulled away. Tears leaking out from his eyes and with each movement, pain spike up to his spine. Kanda only got up and covered himself with his robe and left. He didn't want to move. Why did Kanda even hurt him like this? He just wanted to go around the market-place. Finally pulling himself together, he got off the bed. Ignoring the sharp pain, he pulled his clothes on.

Pulling a scarf on, he left the room. Limping out of the dark castle that wasn't even his home, he didn't even know where he wanted to go anymore. He decided that Lavi might be the best bet but it wasn't that close. It was a week travel on a horse but walking? It probably was a month or two. He probably be capture by then. Being a wife to a King makes him a bank. Much to their knowledge he was worth nothing to Kanda. If worse comes to worse, Lavi would save him. Like always when they were a little kid. But how could have brother fallen in love with him. Maybe it was before he came into this family. Or the time he wasn't here at all. But he remembers the look on the face when he first saw Kanda with him.

00

His brother's perfect brown eyes light up with happiness as his arm loop around Kanda. Allen was only ten. He was only here for three years and this is the first time he will be seeing his brother with the Asian. Being only four years older, Allen wondered how his brother seem so in love with him; even if the past 14 years of their lives, they grew up together.

"Allen come here." His brother called to him. Running up to the first born, Allen curiously looked at the Asian. Kanda only glare down at the child making Allen flinch. His brother chuckles as he ruffled Allen's hair. "Don't worry. He just looks mean. He's actually really kind so you don't have to worry. Once everything settles down in both of our marriages, we can all sit down and be a big happy family." Allen smiled. He would like that.

"In six years I will be reminding you that."

00

Six years had past...but now his brother is dead and gone. The promise is broken. Maybe they could sit down and be together...but without his brother, nothing would be the same.

Suddenly a hand covered his mouth. Dizziness went through him as his oxygen flow was cut off. "Captured. Move to step two."

When Kanda enter the room again, he didn't expect Allen to be gone for another six hours. He didn't wait till another 18 hours till he made a search team to find Allen. He didn't have the time to play around with the boy. His worries aren't on the boy, but his country. If he could only give the boy back to Lavi.

Allen woke up to the cold wall. He wasn't surprised. He didn't expect anything nice from being capture. What did they want know? He wondered. They could want money or just to scare the king that they could cause. Looking around, the room wasn't that bad. Allen pull aganist the chain lightly. The chains weren't all that tight on his wrist but tight enough that he couldn't slip out of it in many causes.

"Shounen." Allen flinch. Turning around to face the owner of the voice he frown. "You slut. You already had sex with the king." Allen could only look in horror to see his captor. He knew this man. I knew of him as his cousin. He first saw him at the same party that announced who they were marrying too. "You belong to me. Only if your step-father knew that. You belong to me before you were even born. Struggling aganist the rope, he could feel the rope burning his wrist. He didn't want to talk about this. This mad man talked about this at the party. To say, he was escorted back to his room that night.

"I don't belong to you Tyki. I'm already married even if I don't love him. I was even courted by him." Allen explained.

"You belong to me, just remember that." Tyki grabbed Allen's cheeks and kissed him roughly. "I'm not a king, but King Kanda isn't suited for you like me, I knew you since you were born. Let's see if he can find you before I take you away. I give him three days. Just three days Allen." The boy wasn't scared. Why should he? Even if he was scared, it wouldn't change the fact that he was captured and now in the hands of Tyki. He just have to wait for the three days to be over to see what will happen.

* * *

omg. this was torture to write. It didn't take three or so months. In fact I got the first three paragraphs about Allen's brother about two months ago. anything after that is just this week.(well actually three days ago...)

I'm updating today even though my fanfiction birthday is tomorrow. Well it's the sixth in china right now(and I'm chinese) plus it's almost 12 o'clock. (give or take thirty minutes). I don't know if I will update anything tomorrow due to essays. I'm mad at myself right now for many reasons.

Anyways, here it is. Please give me a review on what you think of it. It was suppose to be twice as long but I didn't like the second half. The bit about tyki is kind of going down hill too. So tell me what you like or hate about it. I'm pretty sure this is rather disapointing because I didn't try. Here's my reason: this whole week I was worry overing three major test, two papers, one project and a concert. I really need a that Thanksgiving break. Urg.


	4. Lost in bloodiness

Hey, it has been three months. I did say I will update monthly or every other month. Finals, winter break, new semster, two new essays and helping a friend out. I'm surprise I got this chapter out in two days when I couldn't type for the past few months. I got addicted to QaF and SPN on the way here too.

Well thank you for the reviews. I hope you enjoy. Please be warn that I worded some phrases weirdly...

* * *

Allen didn't wake up to a pleasant feeling at all. He knew where he was and he only wished that it was all a terrible dream. Of course then he'll be lying to himself. Pushing himself up, he groaned. His limbs were sore. In this condition he wasn't able to run away. The British looked around the dark room before he decided to play it safe.

00

"Yu where is Allen?" Lavi asked. He pushed the paper in front of the Asian away. He will not tolerate that his best friend has been missing for days now. DAYS. "Have you sent more men out to look for Allen? You know this is the last day for Allen to be found. You read the warning after all."

"So? What is your point?" Kanda asked the red hair man. Lavi clenched his teeth. If only his father was still alive. "All they ask is for Allen. As for me I will keep my word with the women even if he's dead or alive." Kanda explained as he continued to read the paper in front of him.

The two men sat face toward each other. Nothing but tension filled the air. Lavi wanted to go help find the boy but they have no leads to him expect a purple butterfly. Letting a loud sigh out, he only wish he had a better lead. The butterfly was nothing more than a messenger. "Are you really not going to do anything?" Lavi asked.

"I'm not worry. I don't believe that the boy wishes death. He's going to come back here sooner or later."

"If you're wrong sir?" Kanda looked up, annoyed. He did not want to be question so many times. So what if the boy dies? He doesn't care. It was all due to the word of a promise that if he is linked somehow to the boy he will keep his word with his mother. Now the deed is done. "What will his mother say if she knows of this?"

"Then she could call herself a fool, selling her son like that. I would be ashamed if my own mother did what she did."

"Are you not ashamed of not protecting the boy better?" Kanda narrow his eyes on Lavi. "You could have protected Allen better. He barely live a month under you and know he's going to die. That's just a short life. Allen is barely sixteen of age."

"Why do you care for this boy's safety?"

"Why don't you care if Allen dies? He is the brother of _him_." Lavi snapped. "Allen is old friend of mine. I do not wish for his death now. I'm older than him and I want him to live as long as me. Someone younger should not die first."

"Sometimes you don't have a choice in that matter Usagi." Kanda snapped back. Lavi remain quiet this time. This wasn't war. They didn't have to worry about losing someone now. So why does Allen have to die?

"Sometimes we do Yu." Lavi said. He got up and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Lavi, why are you here?" Lenalee asked

"Nothing." He brushed the idea of Kanda not helping to get Allen back out of his mind. "Did you contact his mother yet?" Lenalee looked away.

"His mother seems to be missing too." Lavi sigh. The woman always disappears so conveniently too. "Did Kanda say an-"

"No. I'm going to look for my leads to find him. I want him back her alive, with all four limbs and insanity in check." Lenalee didn't stop him as Lavi walked down the hall way. What could she say? That she should stop him from finding his best friend. To help that someone which knew him better than anyone else in the world? If Lavi knew he couldn't love Allen, he probably would have kept his marriage with Allen instead of allowing Kanda to take his place.

00

"Wake up Allen." Allen wishes he could knock himself out again. The last three days weren't bad, it was just uncomfortable. Opening his eyes he only expected Tyki but not his mother. "Look who I have. We can have a witness for the ceremony for us."

"What are you talking about?" Allen asked the man.

"For our marriage of course." Tyki smirked.

"I'm already married."

"There lies the problem. You see I sent your king a letter asking him to receive in three days time. If he doesn't you are becoming mine. In just a few hours I would have you." Tyki held Allen's jaw so he was facing him. "Are you not happy?"

Allen remained silent to what Tyki was saying. He didn't care. But his mother was here. If other people are part of his plans, nothing ever came out of it.

"Why is my mother here?" Tyki's smirk got wider. "Tyki, leave her out of this." Leaving Allen alone, he walked over the fragile woman. For the first time he noticed that some parts of her were oddly bent. "What did you do to her?"

"She wasn't willing to listen to me so I broke some of her limbs. Don't worry she just passed out. I'll wake up when the ceremony starts." Pulling her from her hair, Allen flinched. "If you do anything that prevents this ceremony, she will die first. Then your little red head friend."

"Why do you want me?" Tyki let his mother fall down with a plop. With two long steps, he walked back to Allen. Their lips roughly met each other.

"It is because you're beautiful. Remember our times as a child?" Allen remained silent but Tyki continued talking anyways. "I love you since then. Don't you remember the fields with all the rest of us?"

"Leave my mother out of this." Allen stated again. He didn't care if the man was talking about a childhood he never had. "What does she has to do with us?"

"Your mother was never supposed to exist. You were supposed to come back to us earlier. Unlike your brother, you don't belong to the Walker family. You originally belong to us, shounen." Tyki twirl the knife that is now in his hand. "By the age of sixteen, you are mine." Jerking Allen toward him by his shirt, he made a choking sound. "Of course the Asian had to ruin it. Marking you as his. Touched. Impure." Tyki spat.

"Not only that, your mother was the one that came up of the idea that you were supposed to marry the red head. Your father knew of the deal. I let you live with him for those sixteen years but in the very end, you will be here. Then Mana Walker goes off and dies."

"I'm sure he didn't mean too." Allen snapped. He was so confused of the insane man in front of him. He wasn't sure if he should believe in him or not. Allen couldn't prove him wrong, for Mana had taken the truth of the deal with him.

"No, he didn't mean too. But the deal with the king had been set in stone." Letting the boy go, his smirk reappeared. His eyes glimmer in red as a thought of something came in. "I have another idea. Let's make this a game." Allen slid against the wood post, not understanding behind the words he was speaking.

00

Lavi spent most of the day looking for Allen. He found three witnesses of seeing Allen leaving town. Two stating that he was with someone else. The man was foreign. More like the Europeans that came to trade with them. Following the leads, he didn't expect it to be so easy. For the guards searching for two days now, which only took Lavi a day to do?

Coming across a small house, he slowed down. He wanted some food due to the fact that he hasn't ate since morning. Knocking on the door an identical purple butterfly flew in front of him. His green eye widen. Another lead was necessary now. Following the butterfly deeper into the mountain, they stopped at another house. If it wasn't for the butterfly, Lavi probably would have never found it.

Taking a step inside, the house was well kept. Cautiously walking around, everything seemed dark and mysterious not only that it was cleaned recently. Walking into another room he froze. In blood wrote:

_The king can have him. In two year time, I will come to get him again._

Clenching his jaw, he continued to walk around the house in search of Allen. With the writing, he has to be somewhere close. Hopefully that was Allen's blood. The house was really big. Even though it looked small, the building has three floors. Each floor filled with useless rooms, empty and bland at the same time. Opening the final room, he found it to be the largest of the rest of the house. Taking a step inside, a shuffling noise made him look up. There, Allen staring at him with empty eyes.

"Moyashi!" Lavi rushed to his side. He quickly untied Allen, relive that the boy as unhurt. "Who took you? What happen while you were here?" Lavi asked.

"My mother…"

"Your mother is missing." Why would he bring up his mother in this situation? "Allen, answer my question."

"My mother is dead. He took out her heart. I saw him pull her heart out. Her screaming and I couldn't do anything." Allen grabbed Lavi's hand and looked at him with sad eyes. "Why did he kill her?"

"Allen calm down. Don't worry. Let's get you home and we can short this out." Ignoring the corpse of his mother, he picked the boy up.

"Lavi, I don't have a home anymore." Lavi looked at Allen one last time before walking down the mountain. Once they get to the castle, he is defiantly talking to Kanda again.

00

"I see you found the boy." Kanda stated when he heard Lavi walked in. The clear desk from morning is now covered in papers and books. "See, he wasn't harmed."

"More or less traumatize that he saw his own mother die in front of him." Lavi said. In all the years he had known Kanda, he wonder why he hated him so much now. "I think it is best for Allen to come live with me. At least until you decide you actually want him. I believe he isn't safe here. Not now or even ever. Not until you decide you will protect him."

Kanda scoff but he placed his papers onto his desk. "It is not my duty to watch over him 24/7."

"It is your duty to make sure he is safe. In the last 72 hours, you have proven me wrong. Contact me if you are serious about him."

* * *

I know this chapter is choppy but I wanted to get it out there. It was really going to where I planned for the first time. I didn't describe the killing of the mother because I really can't describe what I see. I edit it in later...maybe. Please review and tell me what you think.


	5. What changed?

Hello readers. I bet you didn't expect an update. For those who didn't know why I disappeared it's still on my profile. I thought I would be nice and write some fanfiction. I miss writing Yullen believe it or not. In the past year a lot happened. Both good and bad. I won't go into it much but a lot more is going to happen. If you guys want to contact me, just PM. I will respond.

* * *

Chapter 5

Pacing up and down, Lavi didn't know what to do. The Noah's were after Allen and he didn't have a plan. Not only that, he had to worry about Kanda harming Allen anymore. It was just a month after the wedding and he wasn't pleased that Allen was already harmed. Despite that he did take Allen away from Kanda didn't mean he was safe from the man. The boy was traumatized enough from what happen, he didn't want the boy to be scared to death. Lavi sat down and took a deep breath.

"Lavi are you all right?" Lavi jolted. He didn't expect Allen to be up already. Looking over to see Allen at the doorway, he signals that he could come in. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"No it's alright. I'm just trying to figure out what I can do to help you. I don't want to send you back if you're going to come back like that again. I don't want this to go in a circle every time. Can you describe how the Noah looked as well?" Lavi asked the boy. He pulled a chair next to him for Allen to sit down. "I also need to know what he wanted you."

"Do I have to go back to Kanda? He raped me." Allen said. Allen's gray eyes met Lavi's red. "I grew up here and I was supposed to marry you, so how is it my fault that my brother died?" Lavi didn't know what to say. This problem always came up. "Lavi do you know about my past?"

"What do you mean?" Lavi asked. "You are the son of Mana and Victoria Walker. Born in December and brother of –"

"No before that."

"Before that your brother was born" Lavi said. "Why- were you hiding information from the bookman?" The red hair narrowed his eyes at Allen. Allen just stared at the wall.

"I'm not the legitimate child. Neither was my brother. Both of us were adopted. A lot of things happen with the process. I'm sure that is what the Noah was confused." Allen lied. There was some truth. "Can we talk about this later?" Lavi nodded. He had his own research to do.

* * *

Kanda paced back and forth. The papers he scattered around his desk were useless to him now. The bean sprout was found after all. The dim room was no help to him either. He pushed everything off his desk in rage. The fire that lit the room fluttered out as the candle clattered on the ground. The papers didn't dare make a sound. Kanda bit his lip and sat back down. His dark blue eyes stared out in the mountain. His next course of his actions must be thought through once again.

Allen stared at the mirror. He didn't plan to stare his bruises but they stood out against his pale skin. _Unlike your brother, you don't belong to the Walker Family. _The words rung in his head. Tyki could be lying to him. Allen could not believe him but…it could be true. Allen was adopted. His mother and father never told him. Everyone who met him questioned it. He doesn't remember any of his family members before the age of five. That wasn't normal. Right? He even remember seeing papers for adoption. His brother told him they were fake. Allen didn't believe him though.

"Moyashi, read?" Lavi forced the heavy door open. It creaked under its own weight. "What are you doing?" Allen looked away from the mirror. The images of the bruises were burned in his mind already. "How are you?"

"What do you expect?"

"Nothing. More depressed. You witness your mother's death after all." Tyki explained. He sat on Allen's bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" Lavi knew the answer. He asked every time he saw Allen in the past two weeks. Just like the weather, Allen was getting colder and most distant to everyone. Allen didn't even let Lavi touch him anymore.

"I'm fine." Allen grabbed a heavy coat as if the room was going to get cold soon. He walked over to throw in another log of wood.

"We know that's not true." Lavi stated.

"Then why did you ask if you know what's true and what's not true?" Lavi sighed. "Why can't you go back to your cheerful self and I can go back to my happy-go-luck attitude."

"Allen, you were raped and your mother was killed. A lot of things are changing and those two personalities don't fit into this situation."

"Where's Kanda?" Lavi didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say Kanda didn't come by. He knew Allen didn't care but why ask for him? "Where's Kanda?" Allen's monotone's voice rose as if he meant to scare Lavi.

"Back at his castle." Lavi answered carefully.

"I will return tomorrow." Lavi got off of Allen's bed and hurried to the smaller boy's side. Allen was already grabbing things without a case to carry them. "Please send out a carriage for me. I don't think me walking through mountains will be enjoyable." Allen's never looked over to Lavi. He focused on the things he needed. He wasn't interested on staying with Lavi anymore. Moping was no longer an option. He needed an answer to the things Tyki mentioned to him.

"Listen to me Allen." Lavi grabbed Allen's wrist and instantly regretted when the pale boy's eyes widen. In fear he yanked his wrist away and used his other hand to pushed Lavi away. Once he was at least ten feet away, with his back against the wall, did he look back to Lavi. "If you go back you definitely won't get better."

"I'm not getting better here." Lavi wanted to call Allen Moyashi again. He wanted Allen to feel safe again. "Lavi, I know you are trying to do what is best for me but what's best for me is to go back to Kanda. Kanda won't care but he will rough me up."

"That isn't the way to solve what happen. You can't start an abusive relationship."

"Lavi, trust me. I'm not glass. Tyki already proved that."

* * *

It would be a lie if Kanda wasn't surprised to see Allen in front of the castle with some servants. His stance was different. Kanda didn't know what happen in the past few weeks but he knew he didn't like this new Allen. He hurried back downstairs to meet him. When he saw Allen again, Kanda frowned. The boy was wearing a heavy jacket although it was too warm.

"Moyashi."

"Name's Allen." Allen smiled thinly. He grabbed one of the bags before entering the castle.

"Why are you back?"

"Because I live here bakanda. Unless you forgot I exist in the three weeks I was gone." Allen didn't wait for Kanda to reply before climbing up the stairs.

"Are you going to tell me what happen?" Kanda question Allen. He didn't follow the boy to the stairs.

"No." Allen didn't leave any room for arguement.

"I'm your husband."

"As I am to you."

"I'm your king." Kanda snapped. Allen looked down at Kanda.

"I'm your queen." Allen snapped back. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I expect you in my chambers at night fall tonight." Kanda shouted.

"So you will."

* * *

Hi, a longer author's note here. A lot of things did happen in the past year. I really can't remember all of it though. The bad news is, most of it is still ongoing. I wish I could make it all disappear and have me write some yullen all the time. Another reason is, Yullen isn't my favorite pairing anymore. I'm more focused on drarry, Britin or Garvis. I won't say there will be another update or if there will be an update. It took me a year to get this out. I will say sorry. You can count this a hiatus. Please do. If you wish to talk to me, I am on tumblr or PM. Believe it or not I do go on this website often. This isn't offically goodbye but this isn't a "Hi I'm back." either. This is my 'holiday' gift to you guys.

-friendsfover


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